If you deserve it, I’m giving you the bird…

a bird in hand

It probably seems like I’m not here at all anymore. Truthfully, I have been pretty frustrated and left with a really bitter taste in my mouth.

I write because I love it. I don’t write for you to tell me how much I suck at it.

I write to clear my brain of the lives and stories that haunt it. I don’t write so that you can make me hate the human race because you are so stupid.

I write to motivate, to empower, to bring your emotions to the surface. I don’t write so that you can dismiss what I have to say like it didn’t take me an entire year to write that book.

Am I licking my wounds? Probably. Am I sick of fickle damn people who don’t know how to be constructive? Am I tired of other authors yapping about how much they want their own dreams to come true with their writing and won’t do a flipping thing for another author? Yep. I’m pissed.

Do I care if I ever write another book as long as I live? Not today. Even for as much as I love to write, my time is so precious to me. Most of the time, I spend more time with other writers’ work than my own and they have no idea the amount of time I lose on their behalf. I spend the extra hours to prepare my own work for all those people who are “dying” for a copy and then have none of them even read it.

So for any of you waiting for that last book in the Aspen Series…I will get to it when I can. When I feel the love. When I know my time means something to another soul on this planet.

I have given this several weeks to chill out and every time I go to get on here, I just get mad again. You know, I have read some pretty crappy stuff in my time and I’m sorry, but mine isn’t even THAT bad on a rough day. But since I don’t beat the daylights out of my characters for fun or have the brain for fantastical science fiction, my work is boring. My work is terrible. My characters are bi-polar. Well, I don’t think so…unless I’m bi-polar, because some of my characters are modeled after my self or people I know. Doesn’t mean we are twins, but we think the same. I put myself in the situations and react accordingly. So if my characters suck so bad, I suppose I’m a rotten person. I suppose I think irrationally. I suppose my own whirlwind romance with my husband means nothing except that I am desperate.

Well, I bite my thumb at all of you who get your pleasures out of being an absolute idiot! It isn’t my fault that you have absolutely no imagination or attention span to read a novel. Go back to the kiddie section and read those, but quit wasting my time with your BS.

In this world we live in, there is no “you scratch my back, I scratch yours”. It is “let me read your book and make it look so much worse than mine”! There is no “Hey! I went to school with you, I’ll read what you have to say”, it is more like “even though we are family, I think your dreams are dumb”. And there is no “Hey! I loved your characters and your story! Let me tell Amazon all about it!”, it is “Uhhh…people will make fun of me for liking and INDIE author, so yeah…no”.

You could say that I’m overreacting. But I feel that writers are subject to abuse no one could ever understand…except maybe actors/actresses. However, the words come from the writers. Actors just bring those words to life. Publishers are so under-appreciated, it is ridiculous! If you actually read my rant to the end, open a new tab and send your publisher, you know, the one who forfeits long hours day and night to read, format, and publish your work, and tell them how much you love them for it. That as an author, you won’t give up on the faith they had in you when they put out your book FOR YOU! Apologize if you were ever a total jerk to them and refused to do your part.

Nope, it is just better that I take the time to regroup. I have no clue how long that will take me. No one even takes the time, hardly, to even visit…if they seem to like it, they do so from the reader page. Well, that doesn’t count. But I do have to shout out to my buddy Arthur. He is about the only who gives a shit about anyone. Thanks Arthur Browne! Your support means the absolute world to me! 😀

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7 responses to “If you deserve it, I’m giving you the bird…

  1. I was feeling bad… until the end… and now I feel worse. I try to be constructive… but I totally fall into the group of people who hasn’t read your stuff even though you read mine. I can tell you how busy I am, and that I don’t have a job and buying things is hard. But you deserve more from me than being a nice guy. You worked really hard on my behalf and I suck… I don’t know who the people who are crushing your dreams are, but I know the feeling. My mom supports my writing, she sells the books to her friends. But the rest of family haven’t read a single word. All I hear is: ‘when are you going to make some money?’ So I spend all my time trying to do that. But still, I am a user. You gave me time you can never get back, and I haven’t done the same. I swear that buying and reading your books is in my notebook of stuff to do… sorry…

    • Oh Arthur! I so appreciate your cheerful attitude and your ability to just suck everyone in around you to enjoy what you bring to the table. You are a great person! I do feel that there are many people in my life who just take advantage of me and I got tired of it. lol. I treasure the “virtual” friendship that I have with you and I am so proud you were a part of the anthology. 😀 I started writing so many years ago when my doctor suspected I had pituitary cancer. I wanted to leave something for my kids…a legacy of some kind. My series is very much me, as most author’s books are, but I wrote them to encourage people to be brave and to grow and to influence others in a positive way. But I feel that the more positive I am, the more awful people treat me and I just got sick of it. But I think you are awesome and I don’t expect you to read my books…but maybe we could write up articles on each other and share them with our own audiences to help each other sell copies?? Just a thought… muah! Love you man!

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