Where do we go from here?

The Benevolent Light

Really.

Where do we go from here?

A little over a month ago, I was set on finishing book five in the Aspen Series before I needed to return as a slave to corporate America. I’m pretty unmotivated for a number of reasons.

They say that a professional writer writes whether they feel like it or not. An amateur needs inspiration.

What do you think about that?

When I was blogging every day, I got a little burned out on writing really great content. (I was working as a blogger outside the home for the last 6 months.) By the time I got home, I didn’t care about writing anymore. When I write my books, I do depend on inspiration to guide me. My books are me. My emotions come out in what is between the covers of my works. I can’t just sit down and write something amazing on the spot. Sometimes it takes weeks of running a particular scene through my head, role playing conversations with myself just to get it right, and closing my eyes to allow my senses to become engaged with what I am writing about. Sometimes I even cry. (Lame, I know, but that is me.) I feel that there is a distinct difference between parts where I am inspired and when I am not in my books.

I keep my file open. In fact, I am on page 260 of The Benevolent Light. I open it on a daily basis…but I haven’t written a single word for weeks. I can’t visualize it right now…it is all dark. Ugh.

So what happens now? Do I push through the block or do I keep on the lookout for inspiration? Do I risk writing terribly or do I try to do it right the first time? Maybe there is no real answer to that.

Why not switch projects?

Well, I did for a while. In December, I wrote my piece for that anthology, “On Wings of Silver”. In November, I was working on my NaNo. In January I was working on a screenplay of my first book…Stopped that for a while. I get so excited and little support in making it happen. It is still a project I don’t want to abandon, but I won’t work on it again unless I can get the project set up first. No more wasted time. My focus has to be on this book and my focus is broken for the time being. lol

I suppose I should just put down at least one word a day. Eventually, they would all come together and the book will be done. Just one word at a time.

Production Diary: My Progress

Cast Dungeon

Well, I have a new look to my site. I found a really cool template and was able to install a BuddyPress ring on my website. However, I like the look a lot. One day, I can tweak it to how I want it as far as some graphics go, but for now it is pretty awesome. You can check it out at www.daishakorthbooks.com.

As far as my filming project, I emailed a gal referred to me by a friend. I asked her some questions about different things that concerned the project as she heads a theater group in my area. She might have some other insights and ideas, thoughts about a cast and people who do camera work. She could be a great addition to my crew!

I had a message from someone on Kickstarter who wanted to let me know they felt about my lack of rewards and how they really catered to the people in my own area. So, I sat down today and thought of more things I could offer. Now, there are more things to benefit those who back my project. It was a happy feeling to look and see that I at least made it 1% of the way! lol

I may not be off to the most rip-roaring start, but I will keep plugging along. This project means so much to me!

I did confirm, for those who know who he is, that my son Dante is going to play the part of Kendric Tiller and I think he will do a fabulous job!

Production Diary: My Progress

Cast Dungeon

Okay. So I am feeling very panicky today. Maybe discouraged is more like it. There are so many projects on Kickstarter that are raising sums three or four…even ten times what I am trying to get by with on mine that are making their goals. It is true that they might have had these investors lined up ahead of time, but to see those figures makes me feel hopeless when I can’t get my friends and family to even share my posts, with the amazing exception of two or three.

My mind begins to run away from me, plaguing my thoughts of “who am I kidding?” and “I guess I’m not meant to be successful” and “why am I not worth the effort?”. It is easy to do when people who are supposedly your friends suddenly ignore you when you ask for their support.

In the next moment, I feel as though I have worked my ass off to get to where I am and I do deserve the opportunity to make my dreams happen. If I had the resources I wouldn’t even need to use an entity like Kickstarter. But I don’t and they are what stand between being better or staying mediocre. I don’t want to be just mediocre, average.

I was very touched that two strangers to me have reached out and tried to spread the word for me as my reach goes only so far. These people will never feel the increase in my heartbeat when I saw that they had helped, they will never see my smile of gratitude or the tears that were in my eyes. They will never know, even when I tell them, that I appreciate it so very much, just how grateful I am.

Out of my entire social circle, three friends are all that have helped in spreading the word. I find that insulting, actually. A handful RT me on twitter, most of them people I barely know. They believe in my abilities more than my own family. Crazy, right? It isn’t so much the lack of enthusiasm from those I am close to, it is the cold shoulder feeling that just makes me feel bad.

Am I mad because only 3 people have contributed? No, of course not. It is the silence that speaks volumes and screams in my ears that I am no good.

Well, I told you that I would update you on my journey. Why report only the rainbows and sunshine when that would make this account completely false. These are the moments that make you grow as a person. These are the times when the stars come out because it is so dark. This is when I step away and spread my wings in spite of them all.

I may not be able to do this project now, but I pray every night that it will manifest with my hard work. In the event that it does not go through, I will just come out swinging all the harder and find ways to piece it together. Victory will be sweet!

If you made it this far through my whining, I apologize. Wait. No, I don’t. I have spent my life apologizing for things I shouldn’t have to. I am a human being with real feelings and I believe that from time to time I should be allowed to expose my soft underbelly and show just how real I am. Thank you for reading. I know 99% of those who follow will not and do not. If I am simply talking to myself here, then it is cheap therapy for I can shed my rantings here and lighten my load a bit.

Be a leader, not a follower. Take charge of yourself, your dreams, and take the steps to make them come true…with or without those “close” to you.  🙂

 

Production Diary: Kickstarter!

Cast Dungeon

I had submitted my project to Kickstarter officially yesterday. I made a video to show my ideas and what the project will be. You can view it on my page on Kickstarter.

They sent me an email with a few ideas to improve my project. I made the corrections they asked for, which were not many, and they emailed me about an hour or two later to tell me that they approved my project.

What does this mean, exactly?

Well, it means I have 30 days to raise a hefty sum to film my project. Supporters are able to donate to my cause through the Kickstarter site and will not be charged a thing if I can’t make my goal. You can donate as little or as much as you would like, or can. Every dollar counts. When you support my project, there are incentives for some different denominations. I think they are quite fun, if you ask me. This is a site where I plan on helping others every chance I get.

So now, I must rely on others to make my dreams come true. My hands are tied until then. If you can’t help at all monetarily, helping with the set, the production, the cast…anything at all will be most welcome!

For all of you who review my project, who become a part of it in any way, and support me as I get this underway, I love you, I appreciate you, and I pray that one day I can return the favor to you.  🙂 So far, I have one backer. One  drop in my bucket of success!  I’m on my way!

Production Diary: My Progress

Cast Dungeon

Well, I have a new goal for the new year.

I am going to produce the chapters of my books as a webseries! That is right! One chapter a week will be aired as a new episode via the Web.

What have I been doing to get the project underway? I have given it a lot of thought. I have started my screenplays. I have begun my Kickstarter campain. I have emailed our local university, asking for their involvement. I have been busy recruiting a Director. And I made a video of my project.

I want to make journal entries to update you on my progress and keep you all in the know.  🙂 So when I have something new to report, all of you will be the first to know about it.

Thank you for reading, for your support and your advice as I embark upon this quest.

To watch the video that will be on my Kickstarter campaign, click here.